peiyen | a non-emo entry

my last emotional breakdown was more than a month ago lol. it felt like it took longer to get through than usual when in reality i was miserable for two weeks, maximum. but bloody hell, what a couple of weeks. in a burst of energy i managed to blag an antidepressant prescription, got some blood tests done, started thyroid medication, then stopped all meds when i found out the lab had fucked up my blood tests leading to me misdiagnosing myself with hypothyroidism (still pissed about that). i did find myself feeling better after all that though, so i've left the sertraline aside for now. talking it through with my therapist really helped. having someone non-judgemental to talk through about my problems is.... just such a relief.

i've been busying myself with little things! here's some of them:

TV SHOWS
I've been watching Tourist Trap because welsh comedy people are some of my favourites! the show also makes me wanna visit Wales which.. i don't think was their objective lol. some of the cringier moments were baaad, like i had to pause the show and distract myself on the internet just to soothe the secondhand embarrassment. imagine how long i took to finish all of Peep Show...

The usual slog of stand-up TV spots have proved a nice way to pass the time -- Stand Up Central, Stand Up at BBC Wales, Live at the Comedy Store, etc. Particularly pleased about Nigel Ng's first TV appearance even though it brings back shame flashbacks re: our last meeting hahaaah........ we'd been chatting over coffee for an hour in Edinburgh and he wanted to give me a goodbye hug but?? I cringed so hard that he felt the need to apologise???? (i'm.........TERRIBLE at any form of physical contact/affection, OKAY? it's been months and I STILL FEEL BAD)

Series 2 of Roast Battle UK was... interesting! It's not my usual kind of thing bc i just associate British comedians as being the nicest, most non-aggressive people ever, so having them hurl insults at one another just came across as very much out of character. whoever picked out the guests has done an excellent
job, i loved the diversity. i particularly enjoyed the Catherine Bohart/Sarah Keyworth (that fake proposal made me SCREAM) and Alex Brooker/Rosie Jones roasts.

Riverdale continues to be......weird........ i don't know why i'm watching but.. yeah. it's such a mess

BOOKS
i finished Robin Ince's I'm a Joke and So Are You a few days ago and i loved it! it's like....... tailor written to my combined interests of mental illness + stand-up comedians hahha. i love reading about backstories of comedians and correlating them from a psychological point of view, it's also kind of why i love podcasts like Comedian's Comedian, Made Of Human, and Mrs Brightside. absolutely fascinating shit. Robin is great too, i love his continuous pursuit of knowledge, and i totally identify with his habit of hoarding books while constantly worrying about not having enough time to read them all :')

MOVIES
managed to catch Searching in cinemas last month and i LOVED it. really creative way of story-telling and the plot had me at the edge of my seat. also the first 5 mins of the movie rivals Up as the most tear-inducing introduction scene in a film.

VIDEOGAMES
Recently finished Pyre and Oxenfree -- both excellent! I've just started on Ni No Kuni II but have put it on hold due to some audio sync issues..

OTHER STUFF
work has been rather boring, though there's been an odd increase in autopsies in the past few weeks. which is Fine because i need the practice anyway... i shouldn't complain..

i'm also planning a few vacation weeks for next year (already!). i missed chinese new year last year for Mental Health Reasons but i'm going to try to celebrate/survive it next February.

then in March i'm gonna treat my family to a beach holiday! i found the PERFECT spot for it in Sabah, it involves a short-ish roadtrip and a private villa which sounds super great on paper but idk how it'll go irl. i'm trying to plan it in a way that my parents would have minimal reasons to complain because i am a Super Considerate Daughter.