![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boop
stuff!
i'm in a much better mood these days. and by better, i mean: no longer crying every single day / wanting myself dead. hooray!!! it feels like i'm back to my old baseline, but not really? i'm pretty sure that not being able to feel anything isn't normal. i miss being excited and wanting to actually do things with my life instead of just this feeling of general.. malaise and apathy. what the heck is wrong with me
work is alright. we've got new people in the department which has really lightened my work load, but at the same time i'll be making at least RM1k less money next month due to the reduced number of oncall shifts. which. i realise is quite a lot of money. but without having to work 100 hours a week? I'm undecided whether to be happy or sad about this! i'll settle for CONFUSED
at the same time there's been sliiight progress in my career i.e. the hospital director is "working on" getting my forensic attachment with a tertiary hospital in Kota Kinabalu. not sure how long that's going to be -- a few weeks-months? exciting and terrifying:
1. i'll need to move to a new place for at least a few weeks and work in a completely new environment. terrifying.
2. i've got a few former co-workers who are working in that city so yay old friends
3. yes it's an actual city with SHOPS and NANDO'S (this is important) and CINEMAS hence 1000% better than this island i now live on
4. learning new skills!! a possibly scary new supervisor! ahh!
5. having the chance at this brief attachment comes with a price i.e. i'll be expected to carry out all autopsies on this island plus whatever admin and paperwork that comes with being the only forensic medical officer IN ADDITION to the job i already have in internal medicine. this will involve working more hours than i presently already do so i don't really know how i'm going to handle all that. on the other hand, working in forensic medicine is kind of my Ultimate Life Goal and the only damn reason i even signed up for med school in the first place. also, if i was the only forensic doctor in this hospital that would make me an unofficial head of department in the mortuary. so, kinda exciting.
TELLY
The Mash Report is back and it's great. Nish is adorable, Rachel Parris is amazingly hilarious and Andrew Hunter Murray is making me fall in love with him all over again. Hurm.
NEW GO 8 BIT THIS WEEK!! some very cool guests on this series, including Phil Wang, Josh Widdicombe, Susan Calman (again), Jayde Adams, Nish Kumar et al.
MUSIC
Fall Out Boy's MANIA is currently my favourite album of all time and i honestly cannot stop listening to it. it's so different to everything they've previously released which is kind of what fall out boy does and the songs are so catchy and relatable and patrick's vocals are the best. goddamn. thing.
i'm now super stoked about seeing them in April. i can't wait!
Bishops Knife Trick is my track of the day. it didn't really catch my eye(/ear) on my first few listens but i now appreciate is as a perfect closer for the album and a huge GPOY
i'm shifting through the sand, sand, sand
looking for pieces of broken hourglass
trying to get it all back, put it back together
as if the time had never passed
i know i should walk away, know i should walk away
but i just wanna let you break my brain
and i can't seem to get a grip
no, no matter how i live with it
these are the last bluuuuuuuuueeeeesss, yeah
i'm in a much better mood these days. and by better, i mean: no longer crying every single day / wanting myself dead. hooray!!! it feels like i'm back to my old baseline, but not really? i'm pretty sure that not being able to feel anything isn't normal. i miss being excited and wanting to actually do things with my life instead of just this feeling of general.. malaise and apathy. what the heck is wrong with me
work is alright. we've got new people in the department which has really lightened my work load, but at the same time i'll be making at least RM1k less money next month due to the reduced number of oncall shifts. which. i realise is quite a lot of money. but without having to work 100 hours a week? I'm undecided whether to be happy or sad about this! i'll settle for CONFUSED
at the same time there's been sliiight progress in my career i.e. the hospital director is "working on" getting my forensic attachment with a tertiary hospital in Kota Kinabalu. not sure how long that's going to be -- a few weeks-months? exciting and terrifying:
1. i'll need to move to a new place for at least a few weeks and work in a completely new environment. terrifying.
2. i've got a few former co-workers who are working in that city so yay old friends
3. yes it's an actual city with SHOPS and NANDO'S (this is important) and CINEMAS hence 1000% better than this island i now live on
4. learning new skills!! a possibly scary new supervisor! ahh!
5. having the chance at this brief attachment comes with a price i.e. i'll be expected to carry out all autopsies on this island plus whatever admin and paperwork that comes with being the only forensic medical officer IN ADDITION to the job i already have in internal medicine. this will involve working more hours than i presently already do so i don't really know how i'm going to handle all that. on the other hand, working in forensic medicine is kind of my Ultimate Life Goal and the only damn reason i even signed up for med school in the first place. also, if i was the only forensic doctor in this hospital that would make me an unofficial head of department in the mortuary. so, kinda exciting.
TELLY
The Mash Report is back and it's great. Nish is adorable, Rachel Parris is amazingly hilarious and Andrew Hunter Murray is making me fall in love with him all over again. Hurm.
NEW GO 8 BIT THIS WEEK!! some very cool guests on this series, including Phil Wang, Josh Widdicombe, Susan Calman (again), Jayde Adams, Nish Kumar et al.
MUSIC
Fall Out Boy's MANIA is currently my favourite album of all time and i honestly cannot stop listening to it. it's so different to everything they've previously released which is kind of what fall out boy does and the songs are so catchy and relatable and patrick's vocals are the best. goddamn. thing.
i'm now super stoked about seeing them in April. i can't wait!
Bishops Knife Trick is my track of the day. it didn't really catch my eye(/ear) on my first few listens but i now appreciate is as a perfect closer for the album and a huge GPOY
i'm shifting through the sand, sand, sand
looking for pieces of broken hourglass
trying to get it all back, put it back together
as if the time had never passed
i know i should walk away, know i should walk away
but i just wanna let you break my brain
and i can't seem to get a grip
no, no matter how i live with it
these are the last bluuuuuuuuueeeeesss, yeah